Being Chris Judd

Being the avid footy fan that I am, I often think about things in footy terms, and I can’t help but think that right now i feel a lot like Chris Judd probably did for much of the year 2007.

At the end of 2007, Judd moved to Carlton, sighting a deep desire to move home. However at the same time he said something along the lines of ‘if West Coast was a Melbourne based club, I’d sign a long term contract’. Chris didn’t leave because he disliked West Coast, he just wanted to be in Melbourne.

So how does this relate to me? Well right now (and for most of the year) I have been torn between working at Dunsborough PS but also longing to work closer to Margs. During my recent job application, I became increasingly excited at the prospect of working IN Margaret River (and even more so about working FOR Margaret River). Now, even though I didn’t get that job, my heart still beats to be more involved in the day to day life of Margs and that is difficult, spending 4 days in Dunsborough.

Having said that, I do really enjoy Dunsborough. Along the lines of Judd, if Duns PS was in Margs, I’d prob ‘sign a long term contract’ too. As the year starts to draw to a close, I am increasingly aware of the impact I have been able to make on staff, students and parents, and feel like only NOW could i truly begin to be a ‘chaplain’ at the school, with students now trusting me more given the time they have had to get to know me. It tugs at my heart to even think about abandoning them next year. We had a school planning session yesterday, my first, and it opened my eyes to so many area’s that I ‘could’ get involved in, very strategic and beneficial area’s, but ONLY from a long term (not a 1 term) perspective.

Now I could argue for starting them…then handing them over to any future chaplain who arrives. However, the most difficult things that I have been involved in this year have been things either started, or handed over to, the previous Chaplain. This isn’t to say they did a bad job, in fact they were running very smoothly, but they were all part of his approach to the role, and I (like all chaplains) am quite different. As such, I feel it would be unfair to expect a future chaplain to ‘run with’ things I start up.

What has made my decision (which I still haven’t made concretely) harder, has been what I HAD felt was a lack of guidance from God, but am now quite sure is a deliberate allowance for ‘me’ to decide. I feel God is saying to me ‘my role for you is to be in Margs (or the south-west, or both)…how that looks I want you to decide’. I feel ‘either’ decision (to stay or not at Duns) is ok. But I just wish God would say either way!

So here I am, stuck between a rock and a hard place. If I leave Duns, what I would do in Margs I am unsure, but I do trust if that is my choice then God will honour it and help me. My prayer also is that if i decide to stay on, God will finally give me peace of mind that I have not had ALL YEAR. I don’t want to stay on if I am only going to spend all of 2009 ‘wondering’ if this is right. It not fair on Duns or me.

So that is basically where I am at now (and have been for AGES). Sorry for the lack of updates recently, holidays often means less net access. Now I’m back and can hopefully keep you more in the loop once more!