My 2010 project
Due to some of the outcomes of my recent travels, my expected plans for 2010 have been put on hold, that was to try and move into a youth pastor role at a church somewhere. However this hasn't and doesn't stop my mind ticking over, thinking about and dreaming about what youth ministry is all about. As such I have decided to undertake a project in 2010...to write a semi-autobiographical book on youth ministry.
My plans for this book are not really to look at publishing it. It is more a structure to hopefully pull together the different strands of thought I have on 'why' I want to be involved in youth ministry and 'why' I think it is such an important and pivotal ministry. There is plenty of discussion and debate on the merits of target specific ministries and I will hopefully tackle some of these. I hope that in writing this book I can grapple with some of the philosophies, idea's and concerns in youth ministry and help piece together in my mind why on earth I'd want to be involved in such a topsy-turvy area of ministry!
I have come up with a skeleton outline, some basic topics that I want to cover and have an exhaustive booklist that I either need to read for the first time or re-read. The books that I plan to read are as follows.
- The Trouble with Paris - Mark Sayers
- Fruit that will Last - Tim Hawkins
- Messy Spirituality - Mike Yaconelli (re-reading)
- Velvet Elvis -Rob Bell (re-reading)
- Blue Like Jazz - Donald Miller (re-reading)
- The Church and the American Teenager - Tony Campolo
- UnChristian - George Barna
- Postmodern youth Ministry - Tony Jones
- Youth Builder: Today's Resource for Relational Youth Ministry - Jim Burns
- The Be-With Factor - Bo Boshers & Judson Poling
- Deep Ministry in a Shallow World - Chap Clark, Kara Powell
In most cases I know roughly what the above books talk about and know they cover some or a lot of what I want to clarify in my own mind, though some of them just sound like good reads! I hope that by focusing my train of thought for a while I may be able to go a bit deeper than the surface reading books normally get, at least from me!
My biggest fear is this will end up like many of the other projects I start myself and fall in a heap. However, I started this project way back in June while travelling (and before my plans changed!) and am still going. Today I infact sent an order off for most of those books (www.betterworldbooks.com - good prices and also helps world literacy etc!). We'll see! Hopefully I'll talk a bit about how the project is going as 2010 unfolds and progresses!
Job Hunting
Now that I am back in the real world (even if this week I am still in holiday mode!) I have begun hop around the dreaded 'job hunt' circuit. I can't say that I extremely excited about having to find a job (but then really, many people are not) and it will definitely be hard to adjust back into a life of work after 4 and a half months of travel! What is most difficult for me right now is I will most likely have to settle for some mundane, boring job that doesn't at all inspire me. Sure, it is possible I will find something stimulating...but the chances of this are probably pretty low. For now I only need a 6 month job, so that limits what I can apply for. I refuse to do the dodgy on an employer and lead them to believe I am looking for a long term position, I am not, and I value my integrity too highly to 'pretend' to be looking for more than I am. As such, temp contract or casual work is probably all I can hope for. What makes it more difficult is I need to earn as MUCH money as I can with my hopeful migration to the US in 2011 not being a cheap affair!
What is probably weighing most on my mind is I don't have a fantastic track record when it comes to 'sticking it out' in jobs I simply don't like. I've always had the philosophy that 'life is to short to work in jobs I hate' so...I basically move on as soon as I realise I hate the job. I realise posting this on the internet may not be the BEST idea but this time around I realise this won't really be an option for me, whatever job I get I will need to stay with and this hurts my brain to think about!
When I left I expected to come back from my trip and return to the ministry journey that I still believe I am on. When I left I expected to come back and have interviews for youth or other church leadership positions, area's that I have worked in and enjoyed immensely! I am still holding out vain hope that I will somehow stumble into a position with some Christian ministry that needs a worker for a short period of time but, once again, this is not highly likely.
On top of all this Matt 6 plays over and over in my head.
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
I should know this...I have preached on this passage on more than one occassion! I guess what I should be doing is looking forward to the opportunities that will be opened to me to 'live out' the Kingdom principles in ANY job I find myself in. I should stop 'worrying' about it all and just trust that God is in control. I should. But then, knowing something in your head and then having that get down to your heart can take some time!
We'll see. Either way I DO know God is with me, just gotta keep reminding myself sometimes!
Hell – Part One
Is there any more contentious idea in Christian theology than the idea of a loving God ‘sending’ wicked people to hell for eternal punishment? If a Christian even mentions this 4 lettered word to an unbeliever, world war 3 usually erupts. In fact I have held many conversations with people who have stated that it is the doctrine of hell that makes it most difficult for them to begin to consider the Christian faith. This is ironic given as traditionally the Christian faith believes that unbelievers will be the ones to end up in hell. Tim Kellar talks about this in his book, The Reason for God when he says,
“Modern people inevitably think that hell works like this: God gives us time, but if we haven’t made the right choices by the end of our lives, he casts our souls into hell for all eternity. As the poor souls fall through space, they cry out for mercy, but God says “Too late! You had your chance! Now you will suffer!”’
This just about sums up what I believe is a common misunderstanding on hell from people both inside and outside the church.
Is this all there is?
I want to take a little bit of time and flesh out some thoughts on this whole doctrine of hell. This discussion will by no means be entirely exhaustive and probably would not, in this skeleton stage, hold up to serious questioning. However, I want to at least attempt to portray some thoughts I have been having over recent years, stimulated by various teachers and authors. I, like so many other people, also struggle greatly with the traditional view of hell being a place of fire, brimstone and eternal punishment, but ‘struggling’ with an idea is not enough to cast it aside. Still, for a long time I have been caused to wonder “Is this all there is? Does our loving God eventually send everybody who chooses to not be re-united with him as we were always meant to be, to a place where they are eternally and unconditionally punished? Is this our only option?”
Another way?
I vividly remember sitting in a class at college under the teaching of Keith Farmer. Keith has a way of explaining God’s love for people that makes you almost drift off into some place of pure bliss. In my classes he was so passionate about the love of God that all I ever wanted to do was to sit, listen, and in some way, for the first time realise just how much God loves us. I remember this because not long into the conversation one student was bold enough to ask ‘So how does Hell fit into all of this bliss?’ The answer was short, because we did not have time at this stage to flesh it out, but the answer opened a door that I have been slowly peeking through for the past few years. As many great teachers do, Keith answered the students question with another question. He simply said something like, “What if Hell is not a place of fire, brimstone and punishment…but simply a place people have freely chosen to be when they have decided they want nothing to do with God?” This probably doesn’t quite do Keith’s question justice, but it conveys the basic idea’s. Tim Kellar says something similar in The Reason for God when he says,
“In short, hell is simply one’s freely chosen identity apart from God on a trajectory into infinity.”
‘What if Hell is not as I had grown up being taught?’ This idea knocked me over. Is it even possible for there to be another, entirely different view of hell that more closely ‘fits’ (I hesitate to use that word) the idea of a loving God? This is a question I had not given too much more thought to until I read Kellar’s book which re-ignited within me the flame seeking to discover what this ‘other’ idea of Hell might be and whether or not it actually fit biblically.
Could hell ACTUALLY be a symbol of God’s love for us? If so, how?
Kellar devotes a whole chapter to the question ‘How can a loving God send people to hell?’ In it he basically argues that this whole notion of God ‘sending’ people to hell, as I quoted him explaining above, is preposterous and entirely the wrong way to look at God and his role. Kellar basically asserts that hell is nothing more than the place people go who have freely chosen to reject God. This is interesting because it almost makes sense. What if, in God’s love, he actually allows us to choose to live for eternity without him? As Kellar sums up,
“All God does in the end with people is give them what they most want, including freedom from himself. What could be more fair than that?”
In this way of thinking, far from Hell being some place of God’s eternal punishment, Hell is a symbol of just how much God loves us! That ultimately we do choose where we spend eternity. Who do we love most, God or ourselves? Kellar quotes the great theologian C S Lewis, who once wrote,
“There are only two kinds of people – those who say “Thy will be done” to God and those to whom God in the end says, “Thy will be done.” All that are in Hell choose it. Without that self-choice it wouldn’t be Hell. No soul that seriously and constantly desires joy will ever miss it.”
Kellar goes on to explain that,
“We know how selfishness and self-absorption leads to piercing bitterness, nauseating envy, paralysing anxiety, paranoid thoughts, and the mental denials and distortions that accompany them. Now ask the question: “What if when we die we don’t end, but spiritually our life extends on into eternity?” Hell, then, is the trajectory of a soul, living a self-absorbed, self-centred life going on and on forever.”
A place without God
So what if hell is simply a place ‘without’ God that God allows people to go for eternity if they choose to live a life without him? I remember Keith Farmer talking about how every good thing comes from the love of God. To chose to live without God is to chose to live without love and everything that comes from it. Though in the world some people who choose to live without God experience and in fact exhibit elements of love, at the end of the day, what if God grants people who choose to live without him what they are ultimately desiring, complete separation from him? This is as painful to God in many ways as it is to those who choose it. Each and every single person was designed and made to be in relationship with God. When Jesus died, he died so that EVERY single person could be re-united with him, but they have to choose it! All sin IS forgiven (not will be forgiven), it IS, but people have to choose to accept to be re-united with God. Perhaps hell is simply the place God makes for people who choose to reject this? And, it just so happens, that this place is terrible because, ultimately, for a person to be without God…is hell. As Kellar says,
“That is why it is such a travesty to picture God casting people into a pit who are crying ‘I’m sorry! Let me out!”
Anyone who CHOOSES to live with God will get that choice, it is only those who make the decision to either not believe IN God or not to enter into relationship with him, who miss out, and are granted what they actually desire?
There is much more to say on this topic which I will leave for another time. At this stage it sits as a great ‘idea’, but how does it fit biblically? I mean, the view of hell being a place of fire, brimstone and eternal punishment must have come from the bible, how can all that just be swept away for an idea? I won’t say much but what I will say is this, in looking into the biblical argument for the traditional view of hell I was highly surprised with what I read. Those discoveries are for another day!
Coming to and end
So tomorrow marks 2 weeks until I return to Australia. I'll be honest and up front about it...I am ready to come home. It has been an absolutely AMAZING trip but I am weary of travelling and am ready to try and resume normal life. As I said to my girlfriend, the travel bug within me has entered hibernation and left me in another country! Still I do have a week in Germany left and also a week in Singapore. It will be good but I am having a hard time enjoying it when my body is telling me to stop. Friday I go to Berlin though and no matter HOW I feel that day I AM going to enjoy it. Berlin is to significant in terms of 21st century history to NOT do it well and I would kick myself for forever and a day if I did not make the most of it.
So some of you are probably wondering what my plans are for when I return to Australia. Let me be honest up front, everything in my life for the next 12 months is about moving to the US. Yes, that is right, I will sadly be leaving the beautiful place that is Australia (recently ranked 2nd best country in the world to live in) because something more beautiful is calling me and her name is Kelsey. Though Kelsey and I have only been together for 2 and a half months, it is abundantly clear to me that she is to play a significant part in my life and as such I am going to move over to at least live in the same town as her until she finishes college in 2012. What happens from there is up in the air.
So when I get back to Aus I will be looking for a short term, fulltime job. As much as I would love it to be in a ministry field I am unlikely to find a ministry willing to hire me from December until June (however if you know any fling them my number or email or tell me!). As such I will probably hit the temp work agencies and HOPE that the GFC has not dried up all the temp jobs. In June I will head over to the US and staff another summer camp. Part of me feels guilty for using summer camp as a means to be with Kelsey (rather than simply going for summer camp itself) but most of me does not. I know I have a lot to offer to the camp in 2010 so although my MOTIVES for going are not entirely focused on camp, while I am there I will be totally committed to making the place the best Christian ministry that it can be.
After camp I will come back to Aus and start the visa process for the US. Exactly what visa I apply for is a fluid concept at the moment. It all depends if I can find someone willing to employ me and so go for an employment visa or if I have to look at other various alternatives. The US is RIDICULOUSLY difficult to immigrate to so we shall see. I imagine it will be 6 months to a year (or sadly possibly more) AFTER I start the ball rolling that I will be able to go over there. So when I get back from camp I intend to work again until I have to leave. This means I will be in Aus for 9 months of 2010...so again if any ministries need someone for that period of time and don't mind a 3 month hiatus, I'm happy to discuss! Again I am not holding my breath regarding this option and will pursue the temp agency work.
It is safe to say I got what I was looking for out of my big trip, direction. Not quite in the way I was expecting it but that seems to be the way God works in my life! I look forward to the challenges that face me in the next yearor so, least of which is dealing with being SO FAR from the woman I love for the vast majority of the next year or so, which I have to admit is by far the hardest thing I have personally faced. Still, she is entirely worth it.
Once back in Aus I will have regular internet acces as so intend to blog a lot more regularly. I have started a project while travelling. I am notorius for starting projects and not finishing them but I truly hope I stick at this one. I will reveal more at a later date (if I indeed stick to my plan and keep it going) but if I do, I hope to have some discussion on my blog in various area's regarding it.
For now it is late and I need sleep. Good night world!