Returning from travels I expected that there would be an amount of adjustment to make in getting used to being back in Australia. However I am definitely finding it harder than I thought! This is mostly because I am not just adjusting BACK into Australia but back into life in Perth! I have not lived in Perth for nearly 2 years and in that time a lot has changed in the area’s that I used to be involved. I’m finding myself trying to pick up where I left off without the ability to actually do so. Compunding this is the fact I know my stay here is not long term but a short term stay, limiting my ability to actually ‘get involved’ in any meaningful way in places.
One of the issues I am facing is what to do with church. When I lived in Perth I was invovled heavily at Subiaco Church of Christ. I love the church and have enjoyed visiting when I lived down south but am not drawn, in any particular way, to the need to make that my home now. However if I was to call somewhere else home it would be difficult too because I will be away for at least 3 months of 2010 and then will leave again in 2011. Wherever I go I like to be involved, if I was to return to Subi I could probably get involved in some way in the new year, if I was to find somewhere else it would be more difficult as, obviously, they would need to get to know me and would have to work out where I could get involved for a short term stay. But then again Subiaco has also changed a lot in 2 years and a lot of what used to be the case there is not now, it is not the same as it was (in a good way) from when I left. I have a lot of friends there but still, it feels very different to what it did when it WAS my home. Being involved in a small country church has, in some ways, changed what I look for and sometimes since I’ve been back I’ve felt a little daunted by how big Subi is and how easy it IS to just rock up and leave, without really being noticed, even as an ex-staff member.
Not really sure what I am saying or thinking right now. I feel like I am in a strange place, like I am waiting for something to click, like I know God has a purpose for the year ahead but what that purpose is has not been revealed to me yet. I don’t just want to ‘work’ for work sakes, I want to ‘seek first the Kingdom of God’ and trust that, while doing so, God will provide all my needs for now and the future. Just not sure what my role in that is for now!
We’ll see. I am sure in a month or so I will be back to my usual self with a bit of purpose and the like and it will be much easier. Right now though I am in a strange place that I am not used to!
I am sure it will come to you, how about being in a strange place for 23 years already and just not knowing why you are there, not knowing what the purpose is for that one.
What I do know is ……. I was suppose to find that somebody and that might have been the reason for that person being in that place, how ever horrible it is.
I hope you dont have to wait that long.