Feeling it

Today was the last of 3 personal training sessions that I bought when I signed up to the gym. I actually get my money back if I go to the gym once a week for 12 weeks so it was worth it. However, i have to admit to being very glad that they are over.

I realise that having someone push you is a very beneficial element to working out and it would definitely help a person reach their goals, but for me all the personal fitness sessions made me want to do was quit my membership. After all of the three sessions I have been entirely exhausted (expected) and have not felt able to function for the rest of that night! Tonight this is an issue as I have small group and I am honestly very unexcited about going, I just want to curl up in the foetal position. After the first two sessions I also spent the following days in significant pain (expected) and this made life awkward. Now, joining a gym you expect a level of discomfort and a level of feeling sore for a few days. However I have a number of friends who are seeing results from the gym and not spending the rest of their life in discomfort, this is what I am going to strive for.

I do think the training was beneficial. I definitely know how hard i can work, I definitely reached my peak levels during those sessions. I also got some really good idea’s for exercises to make part of my own routine.

Being fit is definitely still a goal though I am looking forward to starting a more manageable regime.

Adjusting

Returning from travels I expected that there would be an amount of adjustment to make in getting used to being back in Australia. However I am definitely finding it harder than I thought! This is mostly because I am not just adjusting BACK into Australia but back into life in Perth! I have not lived in Perth for nearly 2 years and in that time a lot has changed in the area’s that I used to be involved. I’m finding myself trying to pick up where I left off without the ability to actually do so. Compunding this is the fact I know my stay here is not long term but a short term stay, limiting my ability to actually ‘get involved’ in any meaningful way in places.

One of the issues I am facing is what to do with church. When I lived in Perth I was invovled heavily at Subiaco Church of Christ. I love the church and have enjoyed visiting when I lived down south but am not drawn, in any particular way, to the need to make that my home now. However if I was to call somewhere else home it would be difficult too because I will be away for at least 3 months of 2010 and then will leave again in 2011. Wherever I go I like to be involved, if I was to return to Subi I could probably get involved in some way in the new year, if I was to find somewhere else it would be more difficult as, obviously, they would need to get to know me and would have to work out where I could get involved for a short term stay. But then again Subiaco has also changed a lot in 2 years and a lot of what used to be the case there is not now, it is not the same as it was (in a good way) from when I left. I have a lot of friends there but still, it feels very different to what it did when it WAS my home. Being involved in a small country church has, in some ways, changed what I look for and sometimes since I’ve been back I’ve felt a little daunted by how big Subi is and how easy it IS to just rock up and leave, without really being noticed, even as an ex-staff member.

Not really sure what I am saying or thinking right now. I feel like I am in a strange place, like I am waiting for something to click, like I know God has a purpose for the year ahead but what that purpose is has not been revealed to me yet. I don’t just want to ‘work’ for work sakes, I want to ‘seek first the Kingdom of God’ and trust that, while doing so, God will provide all my needs for now and the future. Just not sure what my role in that is for now!

We’ll see. I am sure in a month or so I will be back to my usual self with a bit of purpose and the like and it will be much easier. Right now though I am in a strange place that I am not used to!

Job Hunting

Now that I am back in the real world (even if this week I am still in holiday mode!) I have begun hop around the dreaded ‘job hunt’ circuit. I can’t say that I extremely excited about having to find a job (but then really, many people are not) and it will definitely be hard to adjust back into a life of work after 4 and a half months of travel! What is most difficult for me right now is I will most likely have to settle for some mundane, boring job that doesn’t at all inspire me. Sure, it is possible I will find something stimulating…but the chances of this are probably pretty low. For now I only need a 6 month job, so that limits what I can apply for. I refuse to do the dodgy on an employer and lead them to believe I am looking for a long term position, I am not, and I value my integrity too highly to ‘pretend’ to be looking for more than I am. As such, temp contract or casual work is probably all I can hope for. What makes it more difficult is I need to earn as MUCH money as I can with my hopeful migration to the US in 2011 not being a cheap affair!

What is probably weighing most on my mind is I don’t have a fantastic track record when it comes to ‘sticking it out’ in jobs I simply don’t like. I’ve always had the philosophy that ‘life is to short to work in jobs I hate’ so…I basically move on as soon as I realise I hate the job. I realise posting this on the internet may not be the BEST idea but this time around I realise this won’t really be an option for me, whatever job I get I will need to stay with and this hurts my brain to think about!

When I left I expected to come back from my trip and return to the ministry journey that I still believe I am on. When I left I expected to come back and have interviews for youth or other church leadership positions, area’s that I have worked in and enjoyed immensely! I am still holding out vain hope that I will somehow stumble into a position with some Christian ministry that needs a worker for a short period of time but, once again, this is not highly likely.

On top of all this Matt 6 plays over and over in my head.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I should know this…I have preached on this passage on more than one occassion! I guess what I should be doing is looking forward to the opportunities that will be opened to me to ‘live out’ the Kingdom principles in ANY job I find myself in. I should stop ‘worrying’ about it all and just trust that God is in control. I should. But then, knowing something in your head and then having that get down to your heart can take some time!

We’ll see. Either way I DO know God is with me, just gotta keep reminding myself sometimes!

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$25,000 Worship Resource Give Away from Proclaim

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Does Youth Ministry just train a new group of consumers?

One of the claims that is often thrown at modern youth ministry is that it just trains a new generation of consumerist Christians, and there is some merit to this claim. Cliff Olsen says, in an article at Youth Specialties.com, During the cleanup, I [...] Read more »